Break-ups are not at all easy to handle. It is equally traumatic as the demise of a loved one. No one can truly understand the heaviness inside you & what exactly you are going through after a breakup. The depression, the feeling cannot be personified as it is not same for everyone. Some may just take a few days to come out of it completely, while some may take years or even a lifetime. The depression that follows after a breakup is an unwanted companion and how you deal with it is your choice.
Post-breakup depression is difficult to deal with but is not impossible. The first step is to admit your situation. To realize that you are going through post-breakup syndrome, you might experience one or more of following feelings for some period of time.
- Feeling emptiness within you, as if you have been looted of all you had
- Loss of interest in the activities you used to enjoy
- Feeling of hopelessness, as if there is nothing left in this life
- Feeling drained from head to toe
- Feeling worthless as if you are not capable of anything
- Either weight loss/ loss of appetite OR weight gain/ increase of appetite
- Sleep disorder – too little or too much
- Loss of faith in God or any other good relationship you have
- Difficulty in decisions making
- Difficulty in concentrating on anything. Studies, work or the family seems secondary
- Want to be alone all the time
- Don’t want to talk or discuss your situation
- May get agitated very easily and rude in response
- Everything else going on in life seems to be running in background
- Thoughts about death
There might be no-one to understand what you are going through. But for sure there are ways to cope with this feeling. The only thing you need to do is BELIEVE.
Here are the guidelines if followed can surely get you out of the depression shell of the post-breakup syndrome.
- No blame game: Don’t blame yourself, ex or anyone else responsible for the breakup. Believe that it was planned by nature, and something/someone has to trigger it.
- Stay away: Don’t call, message or try to meet the ex. Maintain silence with him/her. Give space to yourself and the other too.
- It’s too early to find another partner: Don’t be desperate to fill the emptiness by finding another partner. You always need to have a takeaway before you move on.
- Believe in the law of nature: You never know the future but in most of the cases, people have realized that whatever happened has happened for good. So believe it.
- You are not the only one: You might have the feeling that the whole sky has fallen on you and seems that you are the most affected one. Look out and see how people are struggling with their different problems.
- Ask for help: Don’t hesitate to talk to a friend, or go for a counseling. It is the best medicine to get over the syndrome.
- Divert your mind: Go out with a friend, change place, eat well, plan a holiday, help someone. Divert to transform your energy.
- Distant the remembrance: Keep away the cards, gifts, photographs etc related to your ex at a distant. Keep all stuff in a carton and put it in the store room. Don’t throw or burn stuff. Just distant it.
- Forgiveness: Remember, we all are humans and no one is perfect. Everyone has some positives to praise and some negatives to complain about. So try to forgive yourself or the other and move on.
The art of being happy alone is the art of living. We are born alone and will die alone is an existential truth. People who are capable of being alone are capable of love and live fully.
An emotionally independent person is capable of sharing without expectation and can understand another person without possessing the other. Try to find yourself by being alone and being happy for some time. Believe in nature and sooner or later, someone who’s a perfect match will come your way. Take time to rejuvenate and have to keep your eyes open to see it, rather than staying blind with in the past.